Feeling Helpless & Being Blessed

Seriously! How did I not think through the concept of trying to care for and keep track of one little old lady, when I become ill? It is stressful, to think of my restrictions, what she might need, and the burden I have become upon either my husband or my daughter, to help me out. I contracted the flu and it has been a doozy, so far. Yep, five days and counting! My adult daughter graciously agreed to convey and accompany her 92 year old Granny(who claims she is 93) to a much needed neurology appt., where she was officially diagnosed with the dementia we already knew existed. It was difficult for me not to be there to speak with the doctor, hopefully receive answers to my list of questions, and observe the testing procedures. I trusted all would go well with my highly competent daughter in charge of the day. Afterwards she took Granny to a familiar diner for her favorite chili…we always use a bribe to get her to the doctor as it’s never on her “to do” list.

As I remain unwell, my husband will visit my mother tomorrow despite his experiencing a horrendously busy workweek. This is the “giver of burdens” I am!! She cannot refill her own pillbox and must be called every night, by me, unless one of us is physically with her, to wait on the phone while she takes her pills. She is semi-ambulatory, has cataracts and possibly glaucoma(that appt. is next week), has no short term memory, and much of her long term memory changes from day to day. Sooooo,  long story long, we will need to sell our unsuitable house(for her), buy one with a granny/guest house(so she can cling to some measure of independence) and prepare her home for lease.

Yep, nothing much on this gal’s plate! Oh, and I realized I failed to mention living with chronic pain for over 25 years and suffering from moderate arthritis in my feet and hands.

But, and it’s a BIG one, my YHWH God has been so very faithful to myself and my family!! When all of the meteors I was juggling collided with “my earth”, I knew if I didn’t cling to the hope that only Jesus Christ can give and seek out the joy that is available to me from my tender and compassionate God, this girl would be living in “crazy town”…right alongside of my mother!! NOT GONNA HAPPEN ‘CAUSE MY GOD IS BIGGER THAN ANYTHING IN MY LIFE!!!!

As difficult as it has been to relinquish the responsibility of my mothers care to my husband and daughter, in essence admitting helplessness by doing so, I have been very blessed!! ❤️